A Word about Charlie, a Cat's Cat (Complete)

 

A Cat's Cat - cellphone photograph - July 22, 2025, DS.

(As I write, the clouds have been scarce for two days in Albuquerque; the blazing sun has held them hostage. So, I feel motivated to address other matters... such as our resident Cat, Charlie.

Regarding this post, I think it was my idea, but as Charlie seems uncharacteristically enthusiastic about it, I have my suspicions. In any case, Charlie has waited for me to finish it for months now, so, I hope he enjoys it; i.e., I hope to remain in his favor.)

Charlie is a Cat's Cat. Allow me to explain.

To begin, we must define Cats in a way Charlie would approve. It isn't as if he's holding a tiny gun to my head as I write this - he can't, he's sleeping - no, he just wants me to set the record straight. So, here it goes.

First up (and most importantly), Cats do not, never have and never will belong to humans. They are - all of them - wild. And, unlike most other "domesticated" beasts, human companionship will never alter a Cat's essential wildness. (Try telling Charlie he's domesticated. No, really, go ahead.)

In actuality, the situation is reversed. Human entities belong to Cats. Allegedly, (according to Charlie) this was written into an ancient Universal Feline - Human Pact, which stated that, in return for certain services (vermin extermination, toxin removal, cuteness, emotional rescue & psychic management), Cats would forever Rule. And, so, they do.

Charlie, for one, had not come to stay for more than several days in our present abode - formerly he was the self-appointed motel security guard - when he informed us he was, indisputably, His Royal Majesty, the King of all Cats to whom we must now bow down in willing servitude. And, so, we did.

Lastly, Cats seem to possess an almost alien intelligence... as mysterious as their mineral coated, almond-shaped eyes. This, I suspect, is because Cats originally came from another world. We'll call it (for a momentary lack of imagination): the Planet of the Cats. In other words, the "chariots of the gods" had cats on board!* And, the ancient Egyptians knew this; they didn't build temples to their feline overlords for nothing.

Charlie** won't admit to this, of course... because it goes without saying that Cats never divulge anything. Also, they never stoop to unnecessary chatter unless it's directly beneficial to them... dinner, for example.

(More below the jump...)

Regardless of all of the above, Charlie, as you may have noticed, is a very photogenic Cat. His one notched ear is more of a decoration than a flaw. He actually enjoys posing for the camera, although, alas, only for 2 seconds at a time. Here he is (inset left) displaying his noble paws in a very professional-looking shot, indeed. (Note: JB took this photograph. He has a better cellphone than I do.)

Charlie also enjoys these things in the order they appear:

Sleeping. (He does this very well!)

Needs a Phi-shell. (See Medieval Cat Snail.)

Meow Mix.

The color red.

His favorite toy: Tiger Lily, a faerie "lobster" (which looks more like a red octopus with 3 legs).

Jumping out the window and, then, pushing his way back in through the front door.

Watching TV.***

Hiding in his blanket fort.

Having his coat brushed.

Rubbing his jaws on my stylus pen till he achieves orgasm.

Walking on JB's laptop keys.

Cutest while sleeping.

It's a boring life but Charlie has hopes for a brighter future... mostly in the form of the cat downstairs - gender unknown - who he seems to have developed a passion for.****

All in all, His Majesty is a Cat's Cat: a charming, unapologetically hedonistic tabby, who exudes greatness... along with a sphinx-like mystique. I dare you to tell him otherwise. He can be intimidating. And, as personable as he often is, he's fundamentally schizoid and can't entirely be trusted. (Sorry, Charlie!) But, then... well, he's a wildcat with extraterrestrial genes and an ancient Egyptian heritage. We have to cut him a little slack.

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*Disclaimer: I am not claiming to be the originator of the alien cat meme! (See: Futurama.)

Also, there is an Edgar Cayce Cat as Spiritual Guardian meme floating all over social media (mentioned here).

** He isn't really sold on the name Charlie, but, then, I had no hand in it. My choice would've been something Egyptian... the name of a pharaoh, perhaps.

*** ... specifically, Cat TV. Here's a screenshot from a short clip - I've yet to upload - of Charlie watching the Little Kitten channel a wonderfully innovative 3D game series, which he adores.

His other favorite YouTube channel is The Birder King's Cat TV which features live footage of birds and small creatures in natural settings.

**** Actually, what I first perceived to be a one on one romance has at least two other cats involved. Charlie's advice: "Don't go there."

All Charlie photos - except for one - 2025, DS.