A Word about Charlie, a Cat's Cat (Complete)

 

A Cat's Cat - cellphone photograph - July 22, 2025, DS.

(As I write, the clouds have been scarce for two days in Albuquerque; the blazing sun has held them hostage. So, I feel motivated to address other matters... such as our resident Cat, Charlie.

Regarding this post, I think it was my idea, but as Charlie seems uncharacteristically enthusiastic about it, I have my suspicions.

In any case, Charlie has waited for me to finish it for months now, so, I hope he enjoys it; i.e., I hope to remain in his favor.)

Charlie is a Cat's Cat. Allow me to explain.

To begin, we must define Cats in a way Charlie would approve. It isn't as if he's holding a tiny gun to my head as I write this - he can't, he's sleeping - no, he just wants me to set the record straight. So, here it goes.

First up (and most importantly), Cats do not, never have and never will belong to humans. They are - all of them - wild. And, unlike most other "domesticated" beasts, human companionship will never alter a Cat's essential wildness. (Try telling Charlie he's domesticated. No, really, go ahead.)

In actuality, the situation is reversed. Human entities belong to Cats. Allegedly, (according to Charlie) this was written into an ancient Universal Feline - Human Pact, which stated that, in return for certain services (vermin extermination, toxin removal, cuteness, emotional rescue & psychic management), Cats would forever Rule. And, so, they do.

Charlie, for one, had not come to stay for more than several days in our present abode - formerly he was the self-appointed motel security guard - when he informed us he was, indisputably, His Royal Majesty, the King of all Cats to whom we must now bow down in willing servitude. And, so, we did.

Lastly, Cats seem to possess an almost alien intelligence... as mysterious as their mineral coated, almond-shaped eyes. This, I suspect, is because Cats originally came from another world. We'll call it (for a momentary lack of imagination): the Planet of the Cats. In other words, the "chariots of the gods" had cats on board!* And, the ancient Egyptians knew this; they didn't build temples to their feline overlords for nothing.

Charlie** won't admit to this, of course... because it goes without saying that Cats never divulge anything. Also, they never stoop to unnecessary chatter unless it's directly beneficial to them... dinner, for example.

(More below the jump...)

We're Sorry...

(Click to Enlarge)

...for this interruption. But, an unarmed (and wholly disarming) sand cat has just taken over this station.

Our regular programming will resume shortly... we think.

(Hat-tip to RPJ at the Daily Grail.)


Important News Update:  However, it has come to our attention that we may have to consult the Sad Cat Diary before any further action can be taken. Stay tuned.

And, now, for a word from our sponsors...

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(Update 6/9/13) Photo Credit Correction: Tibor Jäger